RyanJJohn

A Beginner’s Guide to Peanut Butter and Jelly

Recipe by Thomas, age 3.

Step 1: Wait until dad is in the shower. Don’t forget to wait until you can actually hear the water running, kids!

Step 2: Dump half of a jar of jelly into a jar of peanut butter. Mix well. With fingers.

Step 3: Spread the remaining jelly on the countertop, again, with your fingers, making sure to ruin any mail, or other important documents your parents may have left lying around.

Step 4: Take out two slices of bread, rip them up into little pieces, push them into the peanut butter and jelly mixture. Feed the rest of the loaf of bread to the dogs. 

Step 5: Scoop out the pieces of bread with your fingers, and eat them, making sure to get as much of the peanut butter and jelly mixture on your face, clothes, and hair as you can.

Step 6: Put everything in the fridge. Peanut butter and jelly mixture, empty, sticky jelly jar, silverware, mail, any toys lying around. Everything. 

Step 7: Dump out 50 piece puzzle on kitchen floor.

Step 8: Smile, and wait.

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3. jazzhandsforlife said: This is magic!
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6. nanceinmypance said: 3 year olds are the best
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21. saralaughs said: I want to see a picture! Laughing my ass off!!!
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25. recleagueallstar said: This is awesome!
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35. titsandsass said: hilarious
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41. redcloud said: When I was that age, I got up on the countertop and made a loaf of toast. I then put it all “neatly” back in the bag the bread came in. I also removed the labels from ALL the canned goods in the pantry.
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50. kimplasters said: Ugh - my now 20-year-old had a very similar recipe when he was 4 for the ‘perfect cup of coffee - guaranteed to wake mom from a dead slumber no matter what time it is’. Have fun cleaning, dude.
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