I’m wearing a pink shirt today.

My head hurts more than my ribs right now.

Tuesday morning meetings are way more fun when you hear about all of the fucked up shit that we catch on our video cameras.

A black bear outside our New Hampshire office.

A biker literally launched into the air when one of the ramps to stop traffic ascended while he was on it, and then knocked down by the wooden arm at the gate when he tried to get up.

A man taking a shit outside one of our Boston offices, wiping his ass with his hand, and then cleaning his hand with a bunch of mulch. After all of this happened, he put his LAPTOP back in his bag and presumably went into work. He wasn’t homeless. He was just a dude who really had to take a shit.

I used to kill my feelings by drinking, and then by doing drugs, and now all I have are cigarettes and coffee and they’re not nearly as effective. Someone tell me how to kill the things inside my head.